Sunday, April 19, 2020

When I consider how my light is spent

My favorite poem is John Milton's Sonnet 19: On His Blindness. It's the line "God doth not need either man's work or his own gifts; who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best," that gets me every time. And I understand that the Lord does not need me, but I need him.

This week's lesson in the home centered church supported Come Follow Me curriculum is King Benjamin's address. He speaks to his people on service and what a blessing it has been for him to serve his people. He reminds his subjects that he is like them, "subject to all manner of infirmities in body and mind." He has labored to serve them and has not asked for riches in return. He famously tells his subjects, "I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17

I really can't say if me posting prelude online helps any of my "fellow men," but I know it keeps me practicing so that when we again meet together, I will be able to play my part. I need to serve my God any way I can. Each time I play prelude, I feel my love grow as much as if I were bearing testimony of My God and My Savior and their infinite love for us. Below Milton's sonnet is my prelude for this week.

Sonnet 19: When I consider how my light is spent

When I consider how my light is spent,
   Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
   And that one Talent which is death to hide
   Lodged with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
   My true account, lest he returning chide;
   “Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
   I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need
   Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
   Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
   And post o’er Land and Ocean without rest:
   They also serve who only stand and wait.”




Thursday, January 23, 2020

Decolonizing Star Wars


I am not a Star Wars Uber Fan, but in case you need it, my Force Number is B7203183000 (see accompanying Star Wars Fan Club Correspondence).



Star Wars fandom, for me, comes and goes. I was pretty sure I was forever over it, but then Disney+ released The Mandolorian and here I am taking a stand like 1981 called and wants my Force Number back. This time, however, the force feels different. Back in the 1900’s Star Wars was about the epic battle of good versus evil. To help the audience out, the western symbolism of white and black was used. Good guys wore the white hats (the rebellion, Luke, Leia, R2D2 ). Evil (Darth Vader) wore black.




I was raised a middleclass white girl. My father watched a lot of TV -- Gunsmoke, Bonanza, John Wayne Movies. I know he took the family to movies, but the only vivid memory I have of going to the movies as a family is of Dad taking us to see Star Wars in 1977. Finally, a western the whole family could enjoy! 

The original Star Wars was released 43 years ago. A lot has changed since then. For example, instead of a teenager, I am now a mother who has raised 7 indigenous children into adulthood. My children have impacted my thinking way more than I ever imprinted their thought process. For example – they don’t look upon Star Wars as the epic battle between good versus evil. They see Star Wars as a glorification of imperialist/colonial mindset on both sides. To them, the true heroes of the Star Wars saga are the indigenous peoples who survive the endless warmongering of the Republic and the Separatists/Empire.



Take for example, Mandalore. When the animated series, The Clone Wars, takes the viewer to Mandalore in Season Two (ep 12 – 14), Duchess Satine has taken a position of neutrality. She will not pick a side in a war that has nothing to do with her planet. After some violent acts by the terrorist organization “Death Watch”, the Republic – shadow puppeteered by the evil Chancellor Palpatine – proposes to send troops to Mandalore for their own protection. Duchess Satine declines the offer.
“Defending? You mean to occupy our home. You would trample our right to self-determination…You will turn our planet into a military target, which will bring the war to us.” The clone wars were a mess where two equally corrupt governments each headed by the same shadowy Palpatine fought over who was the most righteous. In the end, it was the indigenous populations of each planet that suffered and died.



That was a pretty lengthy backstory to get to the topic that has been rattling around in my brain since the Mandalorian came out. My children believe that Baby Yoda is a sacred indigenous baby. And it is not just my children. Native Instagram and the Native Meme Staff Carriers have gone into a creative frenzy adopting Baby Yoda into a plethora of cultural content. 

NBC News published an opinion on why Native Americans identify so well with Baby Yoda. In the article, which you can read in its entirety here, the author discusses the concept of  "indigenization". The lack of representation for Native Americans in popular culture causes the community to give certain aspects of pop culture an “indigenous spin”. While insightful, this article does not address the question of why Baby Yoda.


DGO Magazine published an article on the influence of Star Wars on indigenous art. You can read that article in its entirety here. It seems only fair that indigenous artists pull from Star Wars as we all know Princess Leia got her side buns from the Hopi.

 The DGO article also mentions that Star Wars was the first Hollywood movie dubbed into Navajo. So why we’re asking, “Why Yoda?”, we should also be asking, “Why Star Wars.” I’m going back to my answer of decolonization. I don’t believe that Native Americans need to indigenize Yoda. He is an indigenous life form. Here's hoping Season 2 of the Mandalorian will remain focused on returning Baby Yoda (aka "the child") to his people and getting his #landback.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

The Cost of a Quality Instrument

Several, several, several years ago, my son saved up his money and bought a $400 keyboard/synthesizer to connect to his computer. Although he bought it new, it had some problems. It was under warrantee - the trick was, to get it repaired for free, we had to take it to a certified Yamaha repairman.
The closest repairman was in Las Vegas, a two hour drive away. When I went to pick it up, the repairman indicated it was fixed, but then threw some shade toward the instrument. He said, "the keyboard I use costs $4,000." I smiled and nodded, knowing I had just come from practicing a pipe organ in Vegas that probably cost $40,000.

I've been pondering the cost of one particular instrument this week. I was devastated by the news of the fire at Notre Dame in Paris. The destruction of the "forest" in the ceiling made of 12th century timbers is a loss to humanity. The timbers used for the ceiling are thought to be from 300 year old trees. Because of pollution and other global problems, trees don't grow as they once did - timber is not as dense.


In addition, the Cavaille-Coll organ installed in the cathedral is considered one of the premier organs in the world. While other historic and sacred artifacts were rescued from the burning building using a human chain, a pipe organ is not an instrument that can be easily moved.

The good news is that early reports indicate that the organ was not damaged by the fire or the water used to fight the fire. The bad news is that it has been covered in dust. Pipe organs are highly susceptible to dust. It will take an amazing amount of effort to restore this organ. The effort will be made. This instrument is priceless because of its history, its craftsmanship, and the generations of effort that have gone in to its upkeep and performance.

That of course has me reflecting on my own effort. I have not been practicing as I should. When I take lessons and have someone to whom I am accountable, I can easily practice two to three hours a day. When I have no one to report back to, I am lucky to get two to three hours per week. So I am disappointed that I don't play as well as I did, but I still love it so!

I love hearing a congregation sing boldly and with conviction. I love playing prelude and helping to invite the spirit into a meeting. At this point in my life, I have a pretty good collection of prelude to choose from. But just like looking into a closet full of clothes and saying, "I have nothing to wear," i often want to play a hymn for which I cannot find an appropriate arrangement. I am not the best arranger, but when I have an idea of what I'd like to do, I am sometimes stubborn enough to do it.

I want to play "Gethsemane, Jesus Loves Me" as prelude for Easter. It is one of my youngest boy's favorite songs. I was surprised that I couldn't find an organ arrangement for purchase, so I made a simple arrangement for myself. I'm super excited to sneak this into my prelude on Easter Sunday. And I thought I would share it with anyone else who might like to give it a go.

Gethsemane.pdf by on Scribd


The other Easter prelude I will use this year will come from Laurel Hunt Pederson's Easter collection (http://laurelhuntpedersen.com/organ-music/). I've mentioned her arrangements before. I particularly like her Easter Selection. I had thought of some Passion arrangements by William Herd (I played Herd for Christmas) but decided it would be a little heavier than what I would like.

A few months back, I also adapted a barbershop quartet version of Because I Have Been Given Much, to the organ. The harmonies are beautiful. I am going to share that in this post as well. Happy Easter everyone. Let's take this time to sing praises to our God, with our own voices or that of a great big organ!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

More than White Noise - Organ Prelude Edition



Once upon a five month period of time, I taught music in a Youth Rehab Center. The superintendent was chatting me up one day and asked, "Do you play music in your home?" I assured him we did. The kids are always practicing. I'm forever practicing. And then don't get me started on family band.

The superintendent then explained to me that his son is married to a "Mormon" girl and the in-laws' house is always quiet. I defended the faith by telling him that even in my parent's home music was always being played. My mother taught piano. My sister's played stringed instruments and sang. We all practiced piano and organ. The summer months were spent learning ukulele, guitar, and accordion.

I didn't realize this wasn't what he meant regarding music and quiet until he said, "From the time I get home until the time I leave either a radio, record player, or tv is playing."  When compared to this, I suppose one could call my home quiet.

Don't get me wrong. This isn't one of those blogs that is anti modern music. My household has a family Spotify plan. I personally have an Amazon Prime account with a good collection of music from classical to Broadway to Rock and Roll. In my home you may at anytime hear Northern Cree or Hamilton or John Denver or Nahko and Medicine for the People playing through my large screen television or on somebody's bluetooth speaker. But it is not on all the time.  We have music on when we are cleaning, or dancing, or sharing. Still, more often than not, the family sits in quiet and visits, or reads, or studies.

In my opinion, the music my superintendent was describing isn't music at all, but white noise. It is a sound filler attempting to make a place seem less lonely, less boring, or less empty. In some homes white noise plays 24 hours a day. I've known people who can't sleep unless the tv is on all night long.


Story two. Many, many years ago, my family lived on a reservation. We moved into a 20 year old HUD home. This home had not been treated well over the years. It had the reputation of being a party house. Rumor had it that people only stayed in that house long enough to get kicked out. I found that if I left the TV on, the kids would start fighting. If I left the radio on as background noise, there would be contention in the home. But if I was very careful about what we watched and when we watched or listened, we could keep a very sweet spirit in the home.

OK. Now that we have a common platform of shared history, I am ready to start my rant about Organ Prelude music in LDS sacrament meetings. Wait -- one more story. I was sitting in a fast-and-testimony meeting where an older woman was testifying about her grandchildren. She told them she was taking them to church. As their parents also took them to church, the grandkids were unsure which church she meant. "The eating church or the singing church?" they asked. I was sorely disappointed to discover that the LDS church was "the eating church".




Over fifty years ago, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, Adam S. Benion said, "In the Church we need better music and more of it, and better speaking and less of it." Music in most sacrament meetings has not improved since then. I fear that many members of a congregation view singing the hymns of praise as a duty rather than a delight. I further worry that many of these members hear organ prelude music as white noise -- noise to fill the empty space while members visit and concern themselves with worldly cares. Like my home that needed special care to invite the holy spirit, special care is needed from an organist to not only invite the spirit, but to also inspire the congregation to remove their worldly baggage and prepare themselves to receive a spiritual communion.

Organists are quick to point fingers at the congregation. Organists fulfill their duty and play, but nobody listens. From this despair I believe many organists downplay their efforts. Believing nobody is listening, it stands to reason that preparation is futile. I see many organists accept cold-read tunes played rote from the hymnal as appropriate prelude -- page 100 blandly followed by 101, then 102 and so forth. This breaks my heart. If the organist doesn't express a delight in playing the hymns, the congregation doesn't stand a chance.

I have found some success by playing hymn arrangements sparsely mixed with arrangements of hymns not found in the hymnal and hymn-like classical pieces. I don't play these pieces to show off my prowess. I play these pieces because I believe that my efforts matter. I believe that if even one person is moved by my prelude to ponder upon the hymn and to turn their thoughts heavenward, I have succeeded. The nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me is not, "You are a fantastic organist." It was, "I never see you stand and bear your testimony on Fast Sunday, but I hear you bear it every week as you play the organ."



And then there was today. A sabbath miracle. It was Fast and Testimony Meeting. The chorister chose to sing "Thy Spirit Lord has Touched our Souls," for the closing hymn. I have a great arrangement of that hymn. I wanted to play it right before the meeting started. I also planned to play it again as a refrain at the end of the meeting. This arrangement is difficult, but it has been in my repertoire for years. Because of its difficulty level, I counter balanced it with some simpler arrangements I have. At five (maybe six) before the hour, I began playing "Thy Spirit Lord". It was shorter than I anticipated. When it ended I still had three more minutes.

I let silence fill the chapel as I re-opened my easier arrangements. Just as the silence fell the Bishop walked onto the stand. The congregation settled. They thought the meeting was about to start. I played two more arrangements before the Bishop stood. The congregation didn't make a peep for the entire three minutes -- Reverence Sustained!!!

Fast and testimony meeting was sacred and special. I can't credit that to the organ, but it did pave the way.

For those who say, they don't have the skills to play more than the hymns for prelude, I am listing resources:


  1. http://www.organ.byu.edu/newldsorganist/ The LDS church is aware that many organists are pianists learning a new instrument. This site offers training, free arrangements, and simplified arrangements.
  2. http://laurelhuntpedersen.com/organ-music/ Laurel Hunt Pedersen is an LDS organist. She has arranged dozens upon dozens of LDS hymns. She has them in collections that can be used throughout the year. These are free downloads.
  3. http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/title/the-new-organist-volume-8-sheet-music/18638218 Jackman music has a series called The New Organist - Low Practice Prelude. There are 10 volumes in this series. These arrangements are easier than playing the hymns and they still pack a punch. They are currently selling for $7.16 a piece
  4. http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/title/postludes-vol-3-sheet-music/19512038 The arrangement of They Spirit Lord Has Stirred My Soul that I played today is a Kasen arrangement. This series of prelude books is simply entitled Postludes and is also available from Jackman Music.
  5. Hymn arrangements can also be created from the hymnbook. Try soloing a voice other than the soprano, tenor works very well. Play the tenor line on the Swell with solo voicing while playing the soprano and alto softly on the great. Play different verses with contrasting registration. Use reeds to invoke a sense of sacrifice and suffering, use string celestes on verses invoking the sublime. Use flutes for clear simplicity.

Above all, prayerfully prepare. Choosing and practicing prelude and hymns should take as much time as preparing a talk or lesson. Who among us would walk into their Relief Society or class of 12 year-olds, open the manual, and cold-read the lesson?

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Judea_and_the_wolf and the Guest Blog

Service Christmas Photo Essay


 Wounded Knee





Oceti Shakowin




















Oceti Shakowin
Portraits










Mato Tipina






Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Pilgrims Progress - Word and Photo Essay (pc Judea aka LittleFighter)




Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;

And specially from every shires ende



Apparently there's been  a revival of pilgrimages in Europe. Sacred sites both well known and lesser known are seeing an uptick in traffic. Not so in the United States. Yes, despite what you are thinking, there are sacred sites in America. Then again, maybe the sacred sites being visited in the United States aren't the ones that charge or make a tally. 




In my head, I've thought of the family trip to Standing Rock as a pilgrimage. I didn't express that - it seemed too silly to say out loud, but now that we are back, I have found that reviewing it as such has helped me be ok with my feelings and the results of our experience. It turns out my experience is not atypical at all. It follows the pattern of the pilgrimage. Learning this has somehow helped me feel whole.


PBS has a great definition of Pilgrimage on its Sacred Journeys page (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/sacredjourneys/content/pilgrimage/). In its description, PBS lists 6 stages to a pilgrimage.

1. THE CALL. This is described as a longing or yearning. 

We were not the only people to feel a call to the Cannon Ball river. The people we met in Oceti Shokowin expressed this same feeling. Before going north, my son Mason spoke to someone who spent months in the Red Warrior camp. She told him, "Everyone who feels the call should travel to Standing Rock." I have spent ample time in early blogs expressing the longing we all felt to go to Oceti Shakowin and add our prayers to those being uttered there.


2. THE SEPARATION.  Separation comes from suspending day-to-day worries and placing your trust in a higher power. 

Our pilgrimage to the Oceti Shakowin camp did one better. Even though I upgraded our phones to ensure better coverage out-of-state. We still found ourselves disconnected from the world wide web more often than not. This natural state of unplugged help me to suspend my worries of work and obligation and tomorrow. I was able to participate fully in the here and now.



3. THE JOURNEY. The rougher the journey, the more successful the pilgrimage.

From inception our journey has been about faith. The physical journey did not vary from that theme. We had originally planned  to travel on Christmas day, but I was not able to reserve lodging. Christmas morning included a large snowstorm in Utah and a blizzard in North and South Dakota. We left the next day - glad to have missed the blizzard. The roads throughout the four states we traveled showed the aftermath of the winter storm. We had periods of drifting snow, flying rocks, and blowing snow so thick visibility extended to the length of an arm. We also had periods where the snow cleared and we saw bald eagles lift off from the roadside. Despite our hardships, we felt blessed and supported.




4. THE CONTEMPLATION While some pilgrims head straight for their goal, others take a round-about route.


We took detours on our way to and from Standing Rock. We went out of our way to visit the Wounded Knee Massacre Site. This was a solemn time of prayer and reflection, of gratitude and sorrow.


On the way home we made an impromptu visit to Devils Tower, a sacred site where prayers have been made for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

5. THE ENCOUNTER An attempt to slip through the membrane and return to the garden of origin.



6. THE CONTEMPLATION and RETURN  "At the culmination of the journey, the pilgrim returns home only to discover that meaning they sought lies in the familiar of one's old world."

This phase of our pilgrimage was the most surprising for me. Upon our return, I felt an emptiness where the yearning had been. Rather than wishing to return, my attitude had changed. I want to pray at home. I want to see what I can do locally, whether that be support calls for clean air and preservation of sacred sites in Utah, or to recommit myself to recycling and personal conservation efforts.