Iktomi and the Buzzards - Standing Rock Edition

My children amaze me. Not just because of the people they've become, but also because of the people they have always been.

Our family moved to St. George in 1994. Prior to that we lived in HUD housing on the Fort Peck Reservation. When my oldest boy was around four or five, he came into my bedroom in the middle of the night to tell me that an eagle had been pecking at his window. He said the eagle came in through his screen and turned into a "maiden". I asked him what a "maiden" was and he described an older, heavy set woman. The "maiden" spoke to him in a language he didn't understand.

When a child wakes you up in the middle of the night to tell you this - and that child is concerned but not scared, you know that that child is spiritual in nature.

This same child (now a man) is dreaming again. He wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of people crying. He says he feels a call to go to Standing Rock. It is a call that causes an aching in his heart. I can see the same in my other children. Their hearts are broken, and their eyes are longing. We worry about our jobs and school and the millions of threads that tether us to our lives. We are pitiful beings, but we can give our pitiful offering of prayer, service, and time.

Six years ago I learned an important lesson about taking a leap of faith. Since that time, I have been working on strengthening my faith. I've been concerned because I used to have dreams and very solid answers to prayer. There have even lately been times when I have wondered why the Lord has abandoned me. As the family discussed our travel plans over the Thanksgiving holiday, the idea was brought forward that we all need a solid answer to our prayers before we trek halfway across the plains to the icy tundra.

I prayed. I'd been praying. But as I prayed that night for a solid answer, I was reminded that a solid answer is not a leap of faith. And I knew then that the Lord has not abandoned me or my family. We are strengthening our faith.

I am sharing another story today from Judea's screenplay. The animation above will make much more sense once you read the story. The story reminds us not to put our heads in dark places. And if we find our heads in places where the sun don't shine (whether ours or someone else's) we need to pull our heads out - even if it costs us our feathers.

Turtle Goes to War - Standing Rock Edition

Several years ago Judea wrote a screenplay for an animated featurette she hoped to make. This screen play contained Native American stories, most are family favorites. These are the stories that have shaped our lives. As we prepare for a our trip to Standing Rock, we think of the story Turtle Goes to War and we remember how focused we need to be to make our preparations. The video above is Judea's mock up of the animation for this story. Below is the story as it appears in her screenplay. We were reading her screenplay as a family recently and the suggest was made to make this a live action musical. It's amazing how much fun we can have in our heads!

The Fear of Growing Old

The thing I fear most about growing old is that my kids will no longer be in concerts and then I won't drag myself out of the house to go to concerts and then I will miss out on the great pleasures in life. The DSU Orchestra Concert was amazing again this holiday season.



The concert actually taught me to love The Twelve Days of Christmas.


And Christmas just isn't Christmas unless I hear Sleigh Ride!

Phew. The holiday season is winding down. This year I've spent some time thinking on the extra stories we tell around Christmas. I love holiday specials. I got to watch both the classic movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and the stage musical that was based on it. (No man is a failure who has friends). I got to watch Rudolph (Let's be independent together,) A Charlie Brown Christmas (I guess I just don't understand Christmas,) and The Grinch (maybe his heart grew 10 times that day). But my mind kept wandering back to the story of The Little Drummer Boy (not necessarily the cartoon, but the song). 

At the DSU Piano Christmas Brunch my organ teacher made a comment that may have triggered my ponderings. He said, "If the spirit isn't present during a Sacrament meeting, blame the organist." That's some pretty heavy responsibility to lay on the shoulders of an organist, but I understood what he meant. He meant that before the congregation arrives, the organist is there. And if the organist doesn't prayerfully and meaningfully lay an offering upon the alter, it is that much more difficult for any individual to do so once the buzz of the congregation fills the chapel.

Every Christmas eve, my children gather and sing and play. This is their gift for me. Each time I play at church, this is my offering to my Heavenly Father. Each time I sing with the choir, this is my praise to Him. Music is the most interactive form of worship I know and like the Little Drummer Boy its all I have to give.


This year Macey hooked the family up with an opportunity to play prelude before a Lutheran Christmas Eve Mass.



What a great excuse for us to practice as a family


What a great opportunity for us to sing praises to our King!

Running out of kids

I'm heading straight into concert season, but I am not even breaking a sweat. That's right, this isn't the hectic juggling act it used to be. For the concert last week, I had two kids in the same college orchestra (bobo was one of two high school students participating). This song was my favorite because it featured bobo in the cello section and benny in the bass section!

I was babysitting that night so Baby Noah got to go to the concert with us. I thought that an orchestra concert might be a little tough on a not-yet-two-year-old so I asked Naji to take him out at intermission. Apparently that was not what Baby Noah wanted, he insisted on coming back in and watching the concert in total.

It could have turned out differently

The second half of my life has begun with a period of reflection. Which of my life choices were good? Which do I regret? Don't get the idea that I am older than I am, but my life has spanned two millennia, and it seems that it has been much easier to make informed decisions this millennia than last.

For example, back in the 1900's when I had just graduated from high school, I made the decision to go to University and study music. I was accepted at BYU and soon learned that despite my 12 years of piano study, I was not competitive with the other pianists at the Y. Despite my love of music, I switched to French, where surprisingly I held my own agains the army of returned French language missionaries.

It never occurred to me to stay in music, but switch my instrument to organ. The only organ related thought I recall from that time was the regret that the space allotted to my student ward did not have an organ, therefore I played the piano for sacrament (my calling). I missed playing the organ.

Little did I know, but BYU had four practice pipe organs on campus and a great organ department that was so hurting for students that they handed out scholarships to anyone with an interest in studying. (Thank you internet). Had I known, I would have stayed at BYU and graduated in a degree that, in the LDS Church Culture, offered little chance of employment (5 positions per 15 million people). But, you know, maybe that wouldn't have mattered. I could have married someone with a great career prospect and been a stay at home mom who gave organ lessons on the side.

Instead I took the road less traveled, and there has been some pain along the way. Could that one choice have avoided all the pain? Could I have had an easier life? This past month has truly erased any "could-have-beens" from my mind. I wouldn't change my choices, my life, or my situation. I have been blessed with the bestest-neatest-coolest kids in the world. They have made my life an "E" class ride!

And because of their unique cultural background, talents and gifts each week is a surprise of service mixed with unending awe of all the cool things I get to witness and participate in...from the Multicultural Celebration at Dixie State University where the Little Girls Band (my kids) sang a traditional veteran's song and Wounded Knee (my son Mason) performed his original song "Nakota Calling"..

To the Paradise (Spanish Speaking) Branch's generous offer to include us in their Multicultural Night where the Little Girls Band sang a trick song for Naji (who danced himself sick).

Not only was this enjoyable to me, but it was enjoyable to my kids who loved the representations from each Latino nation -- and the food that was cooked from each nation by hands who wanted to share their culture.

I look forward with hope and happiness for all that is to come!

The Girl in the Pearl Necklace

Last month I was in New York City and I found myself in a jewelry shop in Little China. I've been wanting a string of pearls ever since I lost the string my son Sammy gave me. The shop I was in had native salt water pearls. I've never had anything but cultured or fresh water pearls. I bought a small string of heavy uneven pearls. Several of the pearls were misshaped. I fell in love with the strand because of its imperfections. As a strand, the necklace is not noticeably malformed. It works...it works well enough for my youngest daughter to want to borrow it.

Today is the International Day of the Girl. Its a day to celebrate #GirlHero and #GirlPossible and #OurGirlsMatter. Its a day to turn the phrase "like a girl" from something negative into something positive.

I have two girls. In a household of seven children, those two girls are as precious and rare as a pearl in the mouth of an oyster.

Raising my precious daughters has opened my eyes.

We were supposed to be making the world a better place for our daughters. We were supposed to have fought and won for their right to be what they wanted and compete as equals. I wonder sometimes if we as women still hold ourselves back. The technical conference I attended in New York (monolithic NAND memory recovery) was attended by forty or fifty forensic professionals. I was one of two women in attendance.

My youngest daughter (the one in the pearl necklace) was selected to be in the Washington County School District Honor Jazz Band. Out of 20 students, 4 were girls.

My oldest daughter is in digital film. On her film shoot this weekend, she was the only girl on the crew (she's the one taking this behind-the-scenes photo). This is typical for her.

I am proud of my girls. I know they are fighting an uphill battle...fighting to be taken seriously...fighting shyness....fighting isolation....fighting cultural stereotypes.

And I am grateful. I am grateful they continue the fight. I am grateful they are allowed to fight. I am grateful that they love what they do and that they choose to dance through life! #GirlHeros